1) Handing out candy is fun. Handing out candy with a Bullhorn is more fun.
2) Don't let children bring accessories to their costumes unless you are willing to carry or wear all of them (I was a Native American Uncle Sam Fairy!)
3) Three Musketeers (fun size) has only 2 grams of fat, so I can eat like 200 before I gain a pound (of fat).
4) My kids came home empty handed. I came home with buckets of candy, a flashlight, a hat, a wig, an umbrella, a jacket, gloves, glowing bracelets...
5) Everything in the house gets stickier after Halloween.
6) The parent that got to hand out the candy and watch basketball inside the warm, dry house misused the "you need to bond with the older kids" card.
7) Most of the candy we received looked good, but I had to taste-test most of the chocolate bars. Safety First!
8) When you knock on someone's door and they choose to answer with a scary mask and a loud howl, laugh really loud before the kids get a chance to pee their pants.
9) The fifth Milky Way bar definitely tastes better than the eighteenth.
10) If it is bright blue going in one way, it will be bright green coming out the other.