I did not get my husband a birthday present.
I did not buy my husband a birthday cake.
I did not throw my husband a birthday party.
I did not sing, "Happy Birthday" to my husband.
So what did I do for my husband on his birthday?
I logged into his e-mail account and sent e-mails to his family, friends, and co-workers saying, "Guess what! It's my birthday!" and "Aren't you going to call and wish me a happy birthday?"
His friends were all very accommodating.