Monday, October 27, 2008

Token Asian Friend's Peanut Gallery Comments -- Disney Cartoons

If you were to watch a movie with me, I don't blame you for dumping your popcorn on my head.

 Only Elastigirl could give birth to Jack Jack.  Look at his head!

Beauty and the Beast:  The beast was cursed for 10 years until his 21st birthday...let's see, 21-10=11.  Hello!  He was 11!  You were a stranger and you offered him a rose if he would let you in his house.  Of course he's going to say no!  Stranger Danger!

Give the kid a break, old hag!

Bambi:  Traumatizing children is fun to do!

Aladdin:  Modesty is for creepy old men and grandpas.

Peter Pan:  Oh!  So racism is acceptable as long as it is put in the form of a song.  Good to know. 

Lion King:  Listen to the crazy monkey in my head.  He knows the way!

Jungle Book:  Wait...NO!  Don't listen to the monkey!  Bad monkey!

Tarzan:  No, DO listen to the monkey.  Respect the monkey.  Fear the monkey.  For one day, you will BE the monkey.

Pocahontas:  I think the writers at Disney said, "History, Schmistory.  Historical facts are for LOSERS!"

Dumbo:  Under aged drinking was funny in the 1940s.  Pink Elephants were not.

Monsters Inc:  "See, there is nothing to be afraid of, little child.  The monsters in your closet are FUNNY monsters!  Now, sleep tight."

Mulan:  You can roast pot stickers on a stick over an open flame?  How did I not KNOW that?

Sleeping Beauty:  Lots of red flags pop up here.  Arranged marriage.  Underaged female.  Kind of sounds a little TOO familiar...

Cinderella:  So, was this a Secrets of NIHM prequel?  Because I saw a lot of talking vermin in that movie, too!

Cars:  I don't get it.  Where do baby cars come from?

In honor of Grandpa, who made us laugh.  


*MARY* said...

Cars is the worst disney show in all of Disneyland. I hate it! But Monsters my favorite so I'll pretend you didn't make fun of it.

I have another one for you. When the little mermaid sings "I don't know when, I don't know how, but I know something's starting right now."
Somethings starting RIGHT NOW!?
Hello, I thought you just told me you didn't know when. You little liar.

Kristina P. said...

Where's all the sex? You know, the sex that Disney just loves to secretly put in all their cartoons?

StuTheWise said...

Reasons #352-368 why I boycott all things Disney. Ol' Walt must be rollin' in his grave! Maybe from laughter, maybe not.

Veena said...

Don't forget the smoking in Pinocchio!!