10:00 am: Roll out of bed. Text husband, "Good Morning! How's work? I've been busy. So tired. Didn't even have time to shower." Swish with mouthwash. Run fingers through hair.
10:30 am: Yield to pleading hungry children. Pour cereal onto table. Give children spoons. Go to bedroom office. Check e-mail. Read blogs. Check facebook. Eat candy bar. Buy something online.
11:00 am: Turn on TV and have children watch NiHao KaiLan while I re-read twilight series locked in my bedroom. Eat chips.
11:30 am: NiHao KaiLan is over. Children are pounding on door. Tell children to dress themselves, clean their rooms, and make their beds.
12:00 pm: Grab a jar of spaghetti sauce and crackers for lunch. Grab two straws. leave children with jar, crackers, and straws on floor. Check e-mail. Check blogs. Buy something online. Play reMovem on iPhone. Eat ice cream.
1:00 pm: Put younger kids down for a nap. Make popcorn. Lay all couch cushions on floor. Pop in movie and take a group nap with older kids.
3:00 pm: Kids wake you up, so movie is over. Drag all kids outside and let them play. Put on sunglasses, sit on lawn chair, and continue nap outside.
5:00 pm: Wake up. Call husband, "Hey honey. You're busy? Me too. Swamped. Can you pick up dinner?" Go find children, take off their muddy clothes in doorway. Tell kids to bathe themselves and dress themselves.
5:30 pm: Watch TiVo-ed Oprah episode while children play with scissors, markers, and glue.
6:30 pm: Oprah is over. Look around. Marker on the wall, carpet, and youngest child. Paper glued to hair, plant, and me. Cereal and spaghetti sauce mixed with glue on kitchen table, floors, and windows. Sink clogged with crackers and water spilling onto kitchen floor. Dirty clothes on couch. Some children missing hair. Toilet paper trailing from bathroom to bedroom. Twilight book ripped up and thrown over couch cushions in living room. DVDs all out of the boxes and stacked in the potted plant soil. Spoons embedded in drywall. Toys piled on beds, but hidden under their quilts. Kids somehow wearing pajamas again...
...Garage door opens...
...Yell at children to clean up. Change out of my robe and into sweats. Spritz body spray to smell fresh. Brush teeth.
6:33 pm: Welcome husband home. Hear him complain about work. Give him back massage. Complain to him about how the kids are like tiny whirlwinds, and how I didn't have time to clean up after them that day because I was so busy playing with them. "I didn't even take a shower." Check my e-mail, read blogs, buy something online, and watch TiVo-ed Desperate House Wives while he cleans up the house.
8:30 pm: Together, we put the children to bed.
*This post may not contain actual daily occurrences. Readers strongly cautioned.