Saturday, October 25, 2008

Are YOU Asian?

You know you are Asian if:

1) You see a cube of tofu and automatically think of 15 dishes to make with it.
2) When asked if you would like a drink of water, you answer, "No thanks.  I have soup."
3) You drink beverages with chunks of food in it, and you LOVE it!
4) You are a Tai-Chi expert, a reflexology expert, an herbal expert, a medical expert...
5) When asked, "How do you like your eggs?" you say, "Boiled with soy sauce and chunks of pig / Salty, extremely salty / One-hundred years old / Fertilized."
6) When you laugh, you cover your mouth.
7) You eat leftovers for breakfast with rice porridge.
8) After eating Asian cuisine, you tell those you are with that yours tastes better.
9) You leave your house in your Lexus wearing diamond rings, jade bracelets, gold necklaces, Gucci watches, and a sweat suit.
10) You like your beans sweet.  
11) You like your pizza with shrimp, squid, and peas.
12) You love fish balls.
13) You hate licorice.
14) You can stay balanced in a squatting position for a long period of time (Seriously, try it.  It's harder than it sounds).
15) You take your shoes off before entering the house.
16) You know where the nearest Asian Food Market is located.
17) After eating cake with frosting, you say, "Ai!  Too sweet."
18) Your furniture is decorated with Mother of Pearl.
19) You know how to use one of these:

20) You own this:

So, are you Asian?

If fifteen to twenty of these items describe you, you are pure, unadulterated Asian.  Congratulations!
If eight to fourteen of these describe you, you are ABA (American born Asian).
If one to eight of these describe you, you are part Asian (maybe way back, check your family history).
If zero of these items describe you, you are not Asian.  Sorry to have to be the one to break it to you.


Kristina P. said...

Crap! I posted on TAMN's blog that I was hurt that I wasn't included in the Asian friend list, since I'm .12% Asian. Which means I own a rice cooker and I have lived with Japanese exchange students, all through high school

Trisha said...

I'm ABA. Do you know what? Remember how when we were BEST FRIENDS and lived together FOREVER and could never ever leave each other? Back then, I was the minority, and you, you were just run-of-the-mill -every day, -pointing-your-knees-out-when- you-ride-your-bike-asian. my how the tables have turned...

Tell nide mama ni hao and that wo xiang nian ta. I also xihuan ni and xiang nian ni too.

The other day I said to Mia "you're killing me" and thought of you.

"Really? I'm 8 years old and I'm killing you!?"

Payne Family said...

BUBBLE TEA!!!! Thanks for the idea, looks like I'm taking the family out on a cultural diversity trip. Oh, BTW.. Kylie isn't feeling well, thought I'd tell you over the internet instead of buggin you on the phone ;-)

*MARY* said...

I'm only part Asian, which means I'm only part cool.
But my husband can relate to every single one of these, even the jade bracelets and sweat suits. He really is pure Asian, no matter how many Big Macs he can eat.

Seriously, so blessed! said...

Sooooo exited for our asia trip!!!

Ruth said...

wow. you got a comment from TAMN! You are so lucky.

I loved this post; even though I'm only "part Asian."