(To make things fair, I will admit that I say dumb things, too. The list includes, but is not limited to the following. For those of you who know me, feel free to include any that I may have missed.)
To new neighbor hanging Christmas lights: That's where the former owner of this house was standing when he slipped and fell off the roof. (That was supposed to be a joke)
To friend: Could you please have one ugly child and make the rest of us feel better? (That was supposed to be a compliment.)
To someone: No, it's not that I think you're lying. I just think what you perceive, in your mind, to be the truth is not what actually, in reality, happened. (That didn't go over well.)
While pregnant: I choose my foods according to how they will taste coming back up.
Shaking a sleeping roommate: Wake up! Wake up! Oh, {gasp} I am so sorry! I thought that was your shoulder!
Moment of Truth...What have YOU said?
6 comments:
Customer writing in to eBay: F*** eBay! F*** the internet!
My response: Sir, as you know, the internet is a very big place. Screwing the whole thing might take awhile, so let's just solve your problem instead.
I got fired over it. My friend, on the other hand, did NOT get fired for this...
Customer: Jesus Christ! Can't you guys do anything right?
My Friend: I'm flattered that you think I'm Jesus Christ. But even though I'm not, I think I can still help you.
I might do a blog post about this, but I may have said that babies don't feel pain and why would anyone be opposed to circumcision on that basis.
There's a reason I don't have children.
Hey. Random blog browser here.
Loved the lying one. I think that is too often how I feel about people around me.
And just to add to the discussion:
High school teacher: So if you are on this side of the room you might want to say something because I might not notice you. I got my eye shot out with a BB gun as a kid.
Class: silence
Me: unstoppable laughter
I was infamous in college for telling guys (including one of my professors in the middle of a class, and a pizza delivery guy) when their flies were open. I really thought at the time that it was the right thing to do--I would want to know.... Even twenty-five years later I'm not sure if it was kind or cruel. (Actually, I did know that I was going to embarrass the teacher, but he was notorious for embarrassing students, so I didn't feel any remorse about it.)
Something you said to me: You chose corn for the side-dish tonight? You know it's just going to go straight through!
I can't think of anything that I shouldn't have said. Everything that comes out of my mouth is perfect. (ha, ha)
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