Sunday, March 14, 2010

Hi.



If you went to a political party convention, and saw a lady taking notes with crayon,

If you were on a long distance flight to an Asian country and witnessed a mother holding the hand of her child who wet his/her pants while waiting for the lavatory,

If you went curling and saw a squatting pregnant woman push a curling stone across the ice like a child would push a bowling ball,

If you went driving down the street and saw a sister missionary's skirt fly up onto her face while riding a bike,

If you were at Costco and watched a mother turn her back on her cart full of 50 lb. bags of rice (and 1 year old child) only to see it crash into a car 5 stalls down at a high rate of speed and leave a huge dent,

If you were at pre-school and watched the mother cry like a baby as she left her child on the first day of school,

If you were in a Las Vegas buffet line and watched a woman hide behind a potted plant to throw up in a cup,

Then I don't believe we have officially met.

Hi, I'm Token Asian Friend.

17 comments:

kellebelle said...

Wow, I just learned a lot about you! I'm really sorry about the Costco and airplane incidents, but mostly I'm in wonderment -- you've been curling?!?!

Anonymous said...

Are you currently pregnant, or were you curling during a previous pregnancy? I was grateful that I served my mission in a cool climate so we could wear heavy knit tights that maintained some sense of modesty while we were cycling. I don't think we frequent the same Costco, but I'm grateful that the huge dent in our vehicle didn't occur there.

Token Asian Friend said...

I paid $700 to fix that dent. Integrity is EXPENSIVE.

kellebelle said...

I wish that whomever made the huge dent in the front of our van had your integrity... because you're right -- it is expensive!

Jamie said...

You always have me cracking up. I can just picture you running across the parking lot chasing a 50 ib bag of rice (oh and a child, too.) The other day I was dropping Emi off at preschool and the mom who pulled in next to me let her boy slam her car door into mine 3 times and continued to talk on her cell phone like nothing was happening. Wish you could teach her a lesson in integrity.

Brooklyn said...

lol I'm laughing so hard I'm crying because I'm picturing you doing all these things!

Great stories to tell your grandkids!

kristib said...

Hey...I think you're the Asian version of me...except that I was the woman on the plane who kept changing the 2-year-old's diarrhea diapers, and I was the one in Walmart with the screaming 2-year-old who threw the gallon of milk out of the cart onto the floor, and I was the the woman who threw up in the Quizno's parking lot in full view of everyone who was dining inside, and I was the sister missionary who fell UP the stairs at the MTC ending with her skirt in her face. But I've never been curling. You are so cool.

Brownie Bites said...

Um...Hi? Those are so funny. Some are kind of gross. But I'm laughing anyway.

Micah E. said...

Weren't you also that girl that used to dress up like a Starfleet officer for Halloween in high school? And sometimes not for Halloween?

Token Asian Friend said...

Whoa whoa whoa, Micah. That's getting a little TOO personal.

Anonymous said...

So nice to officially meet you after all this time.

And I may or may not have been the sister missionary who laughed so hard she wet her pants while telling her favorite joke to her two mission companions (while walking back to the apartment at the end of a very long, cold, and beverage-filled day).

that raven chick said...

"If you went driving down the street and saw a sister missionary's skirt fly up onto her face while riding a bike,"

AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA... though it may not be the funniest of all on paper. but I chuckled out loud.

WIN!

Trisha said...

I miss you so muchy! And I'm laughing and crying and farting all because of you! yep, your fault.

stillclueless said...

I want to know if leaving a child at pre-school got easier with younger sibling(s)? You are breaking my heart!

Princess Danell said...

Hahaaaa. I've missed you! I don't know where I have been, but I am back and enjoying your trials and observations. They make me smile.

Alyssa said...

you are a crack up!

Elizabeth Downie said...

I'm glad we've been officially introduced. You crack me up!