Sunday, August 16, 2009

"Training"

A group of neighbor kids, and a few of my own, stiffly walk toward me, some with their chests puffed out, others hunched over, straining their necks to look behind them, all of them with proud smiles on our faces.

The ringleader steps forward with a clasped purse in her hands. "We all have grasshoppers on us. I've been training them."

Sure enough, each kid had a grasshopper clinging to their clothes. One grasshopper falls, and the "owner" grabs it with the fine motor skills of a pre-schooler, and sticks it back on his shirt.

She continues, "We're taking them for a walk. They don't even jump. I've been training them all day."

She unclasps the purse and pulls out another grasshopper. "I've trained this one to play dead."


7 comments:

Pam C. said...

Let's hope she doesn't decide to train puppies...

kellebelle said...

HAHAHA! I love this--my kids have spent a little too much time catching grasshoppers this summer, as well!

Soul-Fusion said...

that is hilarious!!!

Brooke said...

EW?!

Token Asian Friend said...

Did I ever mention the time one of the kids came up to me holding the largest caterpillar I've ever seen? Did I mention she had a death grip on the thing? Even though it never exploded, and I was able to coax the larva out of her grasp, I'm pretty sure the damage was irreversible.

That Chick said...

HA! grasshoppers were like, the only bug i never touched as a small child. they give me the willies.

myimaginaryblog said...

This is a classic childhood tale, and you told it perfectly. So funny.