Friday, May 8, 2009

To the class of 2009...


I have been to three graduation ceremonies in two weeks (none of them were my own).  Here are some insights...

1)  One college asked us not to make ANY noise for our graduate.  Another college just asked us not to yell profanities.

2)  Never start off by telling the crowd the exact number of graduates.  People CAN do math.  ("Let's see, 10 seconds per graduate times 1,500 graduates equals...FOUR HOURS!!!  NOOOOO!!!")

3)  When locating your family in the crowd, it is crucial that you  pre-determine an arm signal for them to do...



...or leg signal.







4)  What did we do in graduations pre-text/twitter?

5)  If you tell the already overheated and fidgety audience that your talk will be only 5 minutes, and then it is four times as long...you are automatically everybody's least favorite person.

6)  People who travel half way around the globe to see their kid graduate are awesome.

7)  You may have written the perfect speech, but mumbling is not the most effective way to deliver it.

8) At one ceremony, the MC asked the graduates to stand if they were spouses, moms, dads, and grandparents.  At another ceremony, the MC asked the audience to stand if they were the graduate's spouses, moms, dads, children, and grandchildren.  Neither of them asked for the graduate's sisters-in-law to stand.  :(  

9)  In one ceremony, the speakers kept referring to the graduates as "the social class."  Another ceremony's speakers kept reminding their graduates that they "weren't born with a silver spoon" in their mouths.  That must be the politically correct way of saying that the entire graduating class was "ditzy" or "poor?"

10)  I'm proud of my in-laws and all that they have accomplished!  You guys worked really hard, and you and your families deserve the recognition and credit.  Way to be an example to us all!

Having said all that...

If one day I ever decide to graduate again, I have a few requests:

This will be our pre-determined hand signal...




And, no matter what the MC says, feel free to cheer for me, loudly.  But don't scream for me in [Asian].  No offense, but your combined [Asian] vocabulary is limited...

...and would definitely be considered profane.

4 comments:

Brooklyn said...

Dang. I wish I would have saw this post earlier. Then I would have had the idea to try the leg signal at Russ' graduation tonight. I'll have to tell my mom to do it at Micah's graduation next week. I'll tell her to make sure she wears pants.

Kristina P. said...

I already have a family gang sign all picked out. Sort of like a family crest. It will be awesome.

Pam C. said...

Good for you for being willing to attend.

(And I think wearing pants is definitely a good recommendation for those who choose the leg signal.)

Brooke said...

I never cry at weddings, baptisms or even funerals. But you better believe I've cried at every graduation I've ever attended.