1. The child that, three years ago, threw-up after drinking a whole can of lemonade now throws-up after drinking two Capri Suns and one red cream soda.
2. Four tearful fits before 10:00 am on New Year's Day is a child's way of saying, "Please don't let me go to another New Year's Eve party, ever."
3. Santa is no longer allowed to give our children presents after the stunt he pulled with the fingernail polish station.
4. Baby can now unscrew lids off of containers.
5. Vinegar and Windex and angry texts to husband get fingernail polish out of the carpet.
6. When eating out with husband's business associates, it is good to know that "gnocchi" is not pronounced like it is spelled. And, the biking competition Lotoja is not pronounced "Latoya."
7. There is nothing easy about an "Easy Bake Oven." It is the most stressful thing ever invented.
8. Toy accessories (clips, bows, guns, mini hair-dryers, crowns, necklaces, and shoes) will always find their way into our garbage cans.
What did you learn this holiday season?