Reflect this.

Does what I have on my desk reflect who I am?  I have glue dots, ribbon, staplers, a bowl, thermometer, christmas ornament, sudoku game, scissors, thank you cards, a calendar, CDs, Costco Coupons, "Praise to the Man" DVD, unused address book, ward list, sticky notes, pens, handkerchief, unopened mail, medical receipts, a computer, picture of Christ, a printer, a glue stick, cosmetic wedges, scrapbooking magazine, primary manual, camera, paint, children's book, spray paint, phone, a memory stick, i-pod, old cassette tape, "Beginning Algebra" text book, printer ink, a button, "Church Ball" DVD, flash cards from college, batteries, Q-tips, red ruby slippers, foreign money, and a pencil from the church library. 

Apparently, I am messy...and a thief.

I can because I am.

Things I like to do because I am Asian:

1)  Say "Oooops" a lot when I drive with others in the car.  It adds to the female AND Asian driver stereotype.

2)  Say, "Solly, Solly, I don sh-pee-ka Eng-ga-leesh." when my husband introduces me to the new neighbors.  

3)  Introduce myself over the phone as "that Asian girl in your class/ ward/ neighborhood."  It usually makes them uncomfortable, but they always say, "Oh, yes, I think I know who you are."

4)  Speak to my children in the "native tongue" when we are in public.  People seem pretty impressed until my kids look confused and say, "What?"

5)  When people introduce me to their relatives or other friends, I like to tell them I'm the hired help.

It's the Jerry Seinfeld principle.  If you were born with it, married it, converted to it, or gave birth to it, you have the right to make fun of it.   What gives you the right? 

Smells like what?

My daughter ate some tortilla chips at grandma's house and went downstairs to play with her cousin.  As they were playing side by side, her cousin turns to her and says, "Your breath smells like shi...."

As I yelled her name, I was barely able to hear her finish that last word, "...ps."

So, we'll work with her on her "ch" sound.  

Where are you from?

I've noticed that people that meet me for the first time ALWAYS ask me one question..."So, where are you from?"

How would you answer that?  I usually tell them the city in which I reside.  That seems like a reasonable answer, right?  But then I get the chuckle and they clarify, "No, where are you FROM," or "Where are your PARENTS from?" or, "Well, I mean, what is your background?"  You may not realize how often I get that question, but seriously, hang out with me for a while, and you'll find it hilarious, too.

Enough about me.  So, Where are YOU from?  

Who am I?

Am I really Asian?  Yes, I am.