Dressing up

"It's picture day tomorrow," I told my preschool age son. "What would you like to wear for your pictures?"

"Hmmmm," he thought. "Shirt and underwear and pants."

I was pretty excited he had committed himself to this, because normally he leaves the house wearing only two of these three items.

He sees you when you're sleeping...

My three year old came running out of his room last night saying, "Mommy, I'm scared!"

"Why are you scared?"

He nervously looked around, and silently cried, "Santa Claus is coming."

I couldn't help myself. "Santa Claus is coming? To town?"

That was pretty much when his screams and cries became inconsolable.



I think Santa Claus might need to leave the presents outside this year.

Even if I had a billion dollars....

Even if I had all of the money in the world,

I would still never ever ever ever 

EVER

buy these.

(Look again.  You may have missed the jewel details behind the lashes!)

Fish out of water

Picture this:

People gathering for a three day event to learn about natural supplements...

Lectures are given about antioxidants, probiotics, enzymes, herbal healing...

The lunch and dinner menu offers vegan, vegetarian, and organic dishes...

Can you picture the type of people you would find here?

Now, picture my husband in the group.

My husband--who has a burger blog.

My husband--who walked 4 miles round trip to eat dinner at "Steak and Shake" so that he didn't have to eat the free one at the natural supplement convention.

Does anyone know the symptoms of meat withdrawal? That way, I know what to look for when he gets home.

Look kids! Daddy's "cooking."

These are the things my husband "cooks" for dinner.

Hot dogs.
Fried eggs (in the microwave)
Hot meat and cheese sandwiches (in the sandwich maker),
Fried egg sandwich (microwaved, sandwich maker)
Tuna burritos (yes, that would be canned tuna fish, mayo, and a tortilla).

As you can tell, I do most of the cooking in the house.

The other night, while dealing with the hungry baby, I asked my husband to do something I never ask him to do. I asked him to flip the meat that was cooking on the stove. As I walked away, I jokingly told the kids, "Look, you guys! Daddy's cooking!"

They children cheered and applauded and encouraged their father.

That was fun.

But then, in the meal, the kids kept telling him how yummy his meat was, and how he was such a great cook and how they all loved the meat "Dad cooked."




He flipped it.



Once.




This morning, my husband said, "Kids! What do you want me to make you for breakfast?"

I laughed at the idea of him making something for breakfast.

"Fine," he said. "I'll cook the kids breakfast. I'll make hash browns."






He made them tater tots.

The girl who texted "Wolf!"

I woke up to my alarm one morning and, while lying in bed, thought I would assess the location of my children with a quick text to my husband who was awake and most likely with the children. I was a little sloppy with the punctuation, but I was tired and didn't want to change it.

Turns out, my husband was out playing morning basketball when he got my text, "Are the children with you!"

As you can imagine, he freaked out.

Today, on the way home from the store, my potty training child had the first accident in the car. So, I texted my husband, "Well, we just had our first accident in the car."

Again, he freaked out.

I have a feeling that if I ever do have an emergency, I better call him, because he probably won't believe my text.

Zumba update...

Well, I started off looking like a robot. Then I progressed to "Spastic Scarecrow." Now, I am at "Rhythmic Gumbi" level.

I'm still debating whether this is progress....

Worst feeling ever...

Yesterday, my child came into my room and woke me up, saying, "Mommy, the Tooth Fairy didn't take my tooth last night."

Because they know me...

Over the holidays, my parents and my family got together for one of the "eve" nights. My mom brought an Asian pork dish, an Asian fish dish, and another Asian side dish. When I asked what I could contribute, I was given a list of two "dishes."



Rice



And lettuce.