Thursday, August 19, 2010


A long time ago, before I was a mom, I remember watching a talk show on parenting. It was probably Oprah ;) Anyway, the idea was to be a positive parent and to avoid using negative words like, "No," or "Don't," or "Can't." Instead, you could use positive words like, "Do this instead," or "This is safer."

I vowed to be the parent that never used negative words.

Then, I had a kid.

So while I try to use those principles of using positive phrases as much as possible...

Sometimes it is easier to tell them not to do it, instead of giving them better options.

And sometimes it's just best to let things run their course.

I'm pretty sure getting rid of a quarter in a bowel movement will be a great life lesson.

Wish us luck!


Anonymous said...

Ha. Here's hoping it all comes out well in the end.

When my oldest was a baby, I heard the mom of several then-grown kids tell how she and her husband had tried to avoid ever saying "No," and to instead focus on the positive, like you described. In theory it sounds great, but even back then I remember wondering what she'd do if her kid started to run into the street--stand there meekly saying, "Honey, I think there's a better choice than to let cars run over you?" I decided that there are plenty of things in life that simply are no-nos, and it's a kindness for a parent to be as clear about those things as possible. Hitting? No! Biting? No! Porn? No! Drugs? No! Promiscuity? No! Of course it's good to spend more time talking about what's possible than what's not, but I think there is also a time for "No."

Pam C. said...

I think the fact that Jehovah stated definitively "Thou shalt not" says it all.

I have found that making my third daughter write lines has been effective, mainly as a temper-cooling activity.

As for the coin, I gave a "gold" dollar coin to the nine-year-old son of one of my friends. He accidentally swallowed it and it got lodged in his throat. The doctor was preparing him for surgery when he was given a priesthood blessing. The coin (which the doctor assured them was firmly lodged) moved into his stomach. Two weeks later, an x-ray showed that it was still in his large intestine. His mom had been "searching" his bm's for two weeks and asked if she had to continue. The nurse assured her that the coin was large enough that her son would surely be aware when he passed it. Two weeks later, an x-ray showed that the coin had been expelled, but the boy had no idea when.

Micah E. said...

Yummy quarters.

Payne Family said...

Honestly, I think your child has better handwriting than you ;-)