Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Guilt Rap

Sometimes I rap (in my head.)

-----------------------------------

Why is it all the food I like is never good?
I never order entrees that I know I should.
The choice between fried or steamed isn't hard to make.
Neither is the choice between nothing or cake.
But as soon as I order that caloric meal
There's an annoying feeling I begin to feel.

Guilt.

Have you ever had a bite?
Guilt's the anti-flavor.
Anti-joy,
An-ti-de-light.

Guilt.

Instead of saying, "Yum!"
Your brain yells, "Calories!"
"Trans-fat!"
And "So-di-um!"

Guilt.

Every time you try a taste
You think of all the inches
In your ever
Ex-pan-ding waist.

Guilt.

By the time main course is through
The guilt begins to calculate
the crunches
You'll. Have. To. Do.

Guilt.

The next round will make you frown.
Yes, you'll order the dessert
But you'll have
To. Choke. It. Down.


Guilt.




So

you'll

be.


Running
Rowing
Bow-Flex Bow-ing.
Lifting
Swimming
Cyc-ling, Spin-ning
Abs
Glutes
Bi's and Tri's
Calves
Quads
Hips. And. Thighs.




Resulting in a body that is lean and built.
All because you eat your meals.
With. A. Side. Of....




Guilt.

9 comments:

Emily said...

HA! I love it.

Pam C. said...

I wish guilt provided that much motivation for me...

Seriously, so blessed! said...

Word.

CJ Sime said...

Wow.

Mix master, mix faster, you are amazing. Y

ou better copyright this or the Beastie Boys will swipe it.

I LOVE THIS POST

Token Asian Friend said...

How funny you mention the beastie boys, because in my mind they are singing it (the one sings all of the words while the others yell the last words with him.)

TAMN, Happy Birthday. I dedicate this to you :)

Brooke said...

I love butter. And carbs. And carbs with butter on them.

Guilt.

Tiffany said...

You're one bada$$ asian. I loved this post.

five-one-and-a-half said...

Please record yourself performing this rap. With hubby beatboxing in the backgroung. Please.

Stephanie said...

Amen, sista.