Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day...

We are sick.

By we, I mean three out of the four of us that are home all day long. Baby MULE is doing well.

Whenever I get sick, I always think of eating chicken noodle soup, and no, I don't mean chicken flavored ramen. I have vivid childhood memories of staying home from school and drinking down a bowl of chicken noodle soup with saltine crackers (we would also eat rice soup, but I'll save that for another post). I never liked it as a kid, but it tastes better now that it is mixed with an ounce of nostalgia.

But I have this nasty habit of ruining the eating experience by adding vegetables.

We eat our macaroni and cheese with vegetables.

If I ever cook hamburger helper, I add vegetables.

If I ever make tuna fish sandwiches, I add vegetables.

If I ever make corn bread, I add vegetables.

If I ever make ramen, I add vegetables.

So there I was, can of chicken noodle soup in hand, scrounging around in the refrigerator, looking for, you guessed it, vegetables.

And I found it! Zucchini!

Since the instructions on the soup can say, "Do not boil" I decided to grate the zucchini, that way I didn't have to cook it separately.

Well, sounds great in theory, but in reality...

Sludgy pond water, anyone?

Even I didn't want to eat it.

But then I had a stroke of genius!

Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day.

Give a man a handful of goldfish crackers, and he'll eat just about anything.

What do you eat when you are sick?

Parenting

A long time ago, before I was a mom, I remember watching a talk show on parenting. It was probably Oprah ;) Anyway, the idea was to be a positive parent and to avoid using negative words like, "No," or "Don't," or "Can't." Instead, you could use positive words like, "Do this instead," or "This is safer."

I vowed to be the parent that never used negative words.

Then, I had a kid.

So while I try to use those principles of using positive phrases as much as possible...

Sometimes it is easier to tell them not to do it, instead of giving them better options.

And sometimes it's just best to let things run their course.

I'm pretty sure getting rid of a quarter in a bowel movement will be a great life lesson.

Wish us luck!

In lieu of flowers, please send bread and mayo.

As my oldest was pouring cereal for the younger siblings, I jokingly mentioned to them how comforted I was to know that the oldest could take care of the others if anything happened to their mommy and daddy.

At which point, the eldest child turns to the others and says, "OK, guys, we are having cereal for breakfast and sandwiches for lunch and dinner after mom and dad die."

Naming Babies

Baby naming is a source of frustration for me. Since I have historically been the one to carry our babies, I like to know what to call the thing that is beating me up from the inside. My husband, since he is usually NOT the one gestating the fetus, sees no rush in finding a name for the baby.

In my efforts to speed up the process, I have written lists upon lists upon lists of names per baby, sometimes following him around the house listing off names in a baby book. However, my already elevated blood pressure usually skyrockets when he hands me the list with every name crossed off, or he repeatedly answers, "No, no, no, no, no..." and occasionally the, "Are you kidding me? You would really want to name your child that? No."

So, after a few kids, I have learned to wait until he gives me his list of names (usually a list of one). By then, I am so desperate to bond with this creature that competes with me for my own body cavity's space, that I quickly agree and then I give birth.

As the children get older, I have found that they are just as willing to give me names as I was to give my husband names. And, I found myself repeatedly saying, "No, no, no, no," or "Really? You want me to name your sibling that?"

For example:

Kerna
Tigerlilly
Alison Wonderland
Jackson (not a bad name, just more common than I would like)
Dora (if it's a girl)
Diego (if it's a boy)
Boots (if it's a monkey)
Alisea
Reese (ever seen Malcolm in the Middle?)
Bellerunda
Bunerella

But, the best was when one of my kids came to me with a name written on a piece of paper.

MULE.

"You want me to name your sibling Mule?"

"No, mom. Em-uh-lee (M-U-LE)."

So, just for fun, I'm going to refer to this kid as Mule.



Mule has arrived.

Welcome to my Blog Barn!

(Only because it bugs the tar out of me...)

If you decide to open a business and you are trying to brainstorm a name, will you do me a personal favor? Can you not have it include the word "Barn?" Unless your business directly involves livestock, or manure, or alfalfa, please don't use the word "barn" in your business name.

I have heard of "Dress Barn" and this is what I think they sell...

And when I heard of a place called "Car Barn" my mind automatically thought....

I refuse to even enter these businesses because of the word "Barn."

So, for those of you thinking of calling your store "Tire Barn" or "Jewelry Barn" or "Burger Barn" or "Sushi Barn" or "Electronic Barn" or "Bridal Barn" or "Dollar Barn" or "Ballet Barn" or "Office Barn" or "Furniture Barn" or "Fitness Barn" or "Insta-care Barn," just be warned that you have automatically lost a customer.

Well, all except for you, "Burger Barn." You actually kind of make sense.

Scary Dream

My child woke up screaming from a nightmare. I rushed out of bed because 1) I didn't want the child's screams to wake the other children, and 2) sometimes when this child screams in the night, the bed is less than a minute away from being wet.

So I pulled the child out of bed and brought him/her to the bathroom and said, "Shhhhh. You don't need to cry. Your bad dream is all over," at which point the child began to scream louder.

That's when I realized I should have cleared my throat BEFORE trying to console the child.

My Hobbies

So, I'm going to admit something that I have thus far withheld from the world wide webs.

I love quilts.

I could stare at a quilting magazine all day.

I love the piecing.

I love the free-motion sewing.

I love that people combine odd color combinations to create beautiful masterpieces.

I love the creativity that goes in every step of the quilting process.

So, it should come as no surprise that when I see a quilt at a historical center, or fabric store, or hotel lobby, I stop and stare at it, closely at first, and then once I gain an appreciation for the quilter's skill in the details, I step back and take in the whole thing.

I've even stopped women in the grocery store, and stared at the covered babies in car seats, and whispered to them, "What a beautiful baby quilt!" Sometimes I forget to comment on the actual baby.

I was at a doctor's office and noticed a quilt on the wall. I had noticed other quilts in their hallways, but I had never seen this quilt before, so I went to look at it.

The colors of this quilt are bright and beautiful. Some of the pieces we see here are about an inch in size! The free-motion quilting was done with a machine, but hand guided to make those beautiful, and complex designs that quilt the pieced layer together with the batting and the bottom layer. The stitches are small and even, and it was obvious that this was done by an extremely talented quilter.

After staring at the minute details, I took a step back to take in the whole quilt.

But within seconds, I gave the quilt a double take...

WHAT???

AAAAAACCCCKKKK!!! Is that a picture of a double uterus???

And those images that looked abstract, weren't so abstract anymore.

They were actual pictures....

of actual internal organs....

of actual humans.

As I stood there, mouth and eyes wide open, the quilter in me began to cry...

while the science buff in me gave it a standing ovation.