Be honest...

Is it wrong to give your kids Christmas cookies, caramel popcorn, and chocolate covered pretzels for breakfast?

Cartoons are going downhill!

While watching "Little Einsteins"...

Leo (of "Little Einsteins"): The boy had a magic Christmas box. All he had to do was make a wish, and his Christmas gift appeared in the box. If you had a magic Christmas box, what would you wish for?

Daughter: A Barbie. No, wait, MAKE-UP!

(pause)

Leo: Cool! I would wish for that too!

Daughter: HUH?!?

I wasn't at all surprised. I always wondered about that Leo.

The ornaments

My baby plucks the ornaments from the tree,
Like fruit to be harvested.

And then he turns and throws them at me.
Like the enemy to be targeted.

Ethnically speaking

While filling out paperwork to get flu shots, a lot of deep questions pierced my soul.

The form had me list my race. This has always been an internal struggle, especially when it says "Choose one." To choose one would be to deny the other, and that just never felt right. In the end, though, I marked the box next to the race "Asian" as i always end up doing.

Then, the form had an ethnic group category. It said:

Hispanic: Yes _ No _

Wondering why they listed ten different races but only one ethnic group, I went ahead and marked "No."

Then I was faced with the task of filling out forms for my children who cross the color spectrum. Some of my children are OBVIOUSLY not Caucasian, and to say they are Caucasian might cause them to have identity issues. The other children have such strong (and recessive) Caucasian features that to call them Asian would be laughable. So, what do I do? Mark the dark ones Asian and the light ones Caucasian? Just pick one for all of them and hope for the best? Go for the minority because they are more likely to get scholarships?

Instead, because I was not yet willing to commit to one race or the other, I answered the form as truthfully as I could.

My children are of the Other race, but they are not ethnically Hispanic.

Take that, county health department. Try making statistics out of us now.

Why is meal time so FRUSTRATING?

I'm pretty sure there was a time where parents didn't have to force their kids to eat.

Starvation did.

Those were the good ol' days.

Edit or dread it, PART I

A lot of you may feel I'm being harsh about the English spelling and grammar that I found in Asia, and I must make a point.

I will not ever make fun of how a person speaks. If someone is trying their best to communicate in a foreign language, my hat goes off to them, and they should be commended.

I will, however, make fun of things that are put into print, because seriously, they should have someone who speaks the language fluently check that. Don't worry, I also make fun of those people get Asian symbols tattooed on their bodies without checking with an Asian person if it makes sense. ("Why, yes, that symbol DOES mean proud . . . as in arrogant, overbearing, and insolent. Way to get that permanently inked onto your body.")

So, to start the "Edit or dread it" series, let's begin with Asian cards:

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When you don't want just a part of a dream to come true....

"Happy Birthday

May all your dream come true"

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When you don't really know what to say...

"Very Wonderfully and More Pleasantly

For You

Time over Something"

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"Love thy enemy" and send them a card.

"Especially Foe You"

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Whatever "It" is....

"For You

It is so grateful to have you around"

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In all honesty, this could have been edited by a native English speaker

(from 18th Century England)

"Happy Birthday

Cherish all you appy moments"

Mislabeled

I saw these at an Asian Market and had to buy them.

It says, "Bontex Underwear--For men only"

Turns out, it was mislabeled....

It should have said,

"Belt sold separately."