"Training"

A group of neighbor kids, and a few of my own, stiffly walk toward me, some with their chests puffed out, others hunched over, straining their necks to look behind them, all of them with proud smiles on our faces.

The ringleader steps forward with a clasped purse in her hands. "We all have grasshoppers on us. I've been training them."

Sure enough, each kid had a grasshopper clinging to their clothes. One grasshopper falls, and the "owner" grabs it with the fine motor skills of a pre-schooler, and sticks it back on his shirt.

She continues, "We're taking them for a walk. They don't even jump. I've been training them all day."

She unclasps the purse and pulls out another grasshopper. "I've trained this one to play dead."